I WILL BE HAPPY WHEN

I will be happy when I fall in love, when I have a better job, live in the city, have enough money in the bank, when I have this car, when I have a closet like Carrie’s on Sex In The City (now, And Just Like That…), when I’m on better terms with whom ever, and the list goes on and on forever.

I heard a saying once that said: “ The gap between more and enough never closes.” How wise and deeply truthful this statement is, especially living in a society which places a huge emphasis on materialism to further a capitalistic nation.

I’m not quite sure what else they could add to the newest smartphones, but I’m thinking brushing your teeth, taking the dog for a walk, and making sure the kids are bathed and tucked into bed, are on the platform for the next generation iPhone. I’ll have more, with a side of more, glazed with extra, with an aperitif of bunches of more!

Having gone through periods of my life with practically no money to periods where I had financial security, this idea resonates with me. I would be a lying fool if I told you that I didn’t like name brand designers, I clothing shop like I’m a contestant on Supermarket Sweep (early 90’s game show reference) and I do not disclose the number of shoes I currently have in my closet.

You don’t have to sew your own garments, harvest your own food, and have children named Earth and Tempura to move away from a material-centered life. The simple acknowledgement that although driving a nice car and being wealthy can be a good goal in life, it is not the direct link to a healthy, fulfilled and joyous life.

I completely believe that money can’t buy happiness but it sure as hell can provide you with the time and opportunity to figure out how to live a joyful life. When you are living off the dollar menu at McDonald’s and are concerned about where you are going to lay your head at night, your top thoughts are probably not about “staying in the now” and making a gratitude list to improve your quality of life. One’s immediate needs are more relevant: food, shelter, water.

If money was the answer we wouldn’t have shows like Millionaire Matchmaker, or having billionaires committing suicide. Returning to my original thought, so this is not a completely useless banter of circular thinking, I will be happy when... I decide to be . Happiness or rather joy (because happiness is fleeting) is a choice, a choice that is practiced.

Yes, it is that simple. (the major exception to this belief is when mental health disorders are part of your life) Joy is a choice, like deciding what to wear in the morning. Are you going to rock that black lipstick, flat-iron your hair and Cyber-Punk-it-out all day, wrapped in a blanket of teen-angst, or are you going to pick out your favorite color, grab those jeans that make your butt look good and slap a smile on your face?

We actually have muscle memory in our face, so even if you start out with a forced smile, it can engage muscles that will physically recall times when you were genuinely smiling. Whatever works. I know that I made the choice to be a sad, miserable, Lifetime-Movie-marathon-mess for far too long to not choose joy each day in the present.